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| Graffiti Art - Happy Girl - Artist Unknown |
Hello Deep Diggers!
A couple of weeks ago, I helped my 17-year-old son Jacob set up a walking plan to address some weight gain he has experienced since this whole CV19 situation began. I set up a plan which involves him walking daily with different family members. As an added and awesome benefit to this plan, the walks provide valuable minutes of one-on-one discussion. I'm so thankful to say that these walks have been so good for my heart as I get to experience Jake's mind-blowing perspectives on world issues, family dynamics, philosophical constructs, social economics, and so much more. I have a feeling that his viewpoints and questions will be a vast source of material for this blog.
In a recent conversation, Jake told me of a YouTube video he had watched that spoke of engaging in activities that seek fulfillment rather than happiness. I'm a little bashful to say that happiness and the seeking thereof have preoccupied my mind fairly often in the past year. It's becoming more and more apparent to me that I have spent far too much time focused on the experience of the emotional state of feeling good as the primary evidence of happiness. At the same time, I'm trying not to be too hard on myself because I realize how sensitive we INFJ folks are and how deeply we feel both positive and negative emotions. It's hard for me to characterize my life as happy when I sometimes feel so down about certain situations and relationships.
But thankfully, happiness is not just feeling good. At least that's not what I now believe it to be. I believe that happiness is a complex combination of fulfillment, contentment, life satisfaction and generally feeling good about your life on a day-to-day basis. Happiness in this context can be increased or decreased by taking actions. I'm all for positive thinking, but at the end of the day, positive thinking alone will not bring a well-rounded happiness and contentment in life. There must be some specific steps taken to produce the above-mentioned characteristics of a happy life. That's one of the things that's kind of interesting about this CV19 time. It's really brought happiness into extreme focus for me because it has taken away many of the things that I didn't before realize bring so much happiness and contentment to my life.
Through all the reflection, I've come up with the following list of action related items that make my life happy and content:
- Doing things for other people. Especially those who are in my immediate life orbit. I'm very big on the concept of life bringing people into my orbit (and I into theirs) for specific reasons. Keeping my eyes and ears open will provide opportunities to contribute in meaningful ways to the lives of others even if it's in small words and/or deeds. This brings great fulfillment to my life.
- Connecting with people. Connecting with people both in real life and on social media is important to me because it makes me feel just that-- connected. And connection brings happiness. There are few among us who want to be left entirely alone.
- Spending time outside in nature. Something about being outside, experiencing nature gives me a calming satisfaction.
- Exercising. My preferred form of mediation is running outside. Alone with my thoughts and feelings and the rhythm of my breathing brings great clarity and relaxation to my spirit.
- Planning adventures, large and small, to see and experience things that are new to me. I didn't realize how important this is to me until I met my partner Christina who enjoys these same experiences. Sharing with my partner make these activities even more exciting.
- Planning, executing, and completing creative projects. This is where the happiness of long-lasting fulfillment comes into play. Being able to look back and know that time and energy went toward an end result that I'm satisfied with brings great contentment.
- Listening and reflecting on music and lyrics that give me that feeling. You know the one.
- Looking at abstract and modern art. The colors and lines just give me that feeling that's difficult to describe.
- Sharing my favorite things in writing on social media and reading favorite things of others.
I'm sure that I'm not alone in struggling to pin down exactly what happiness is and how it fits into life. Just doing a quick Google search reveals not only how many others out there struggle in this area, but also how many different perspectives there are related to exactly what happiness is and how to experience it in one's life. I hope that sharing some of the ways that I invite happiness into my life will inspire you to reflect on your own and possibly give encouragement to explore your own steps to take.
Until next time, peace, and grace to each of you! You matter!
