When I was growing up, I had a big problem looking people in the eyes. Okay, it was actually a HUGE problem. It began when I was very young, so young, that I can't even remember it starting. I'm not sure, but I think that it was caused by a combination of my extreme shyness, my inherited anxiety and the constant judgement that I felt at home. I'm sure there must have been some other contributing factors, but those stand out in my memory. This paralyzing fear was the most distressing with people I didn't know very well or not at all but it certainly manifested itself persistently with my family members as well. I felt like their eyes were there to scrutinize, evaluate, judge and, having found me lacking, condemn me to the lowly position that I already knew I deserved. Meeting those eyes for more than a microsecond glance, was far more than I could endure. It became progressively worse as I grew older, becoming a form of daily torture throughout my junior high, high school and even college years. You may think that I'm exaggerating, but I assure you that I am not.
At some point in high school, I made a decision that I would conquer this apprehension and I stubbornly did everything I could to maintain eye contact when I interacted with people. I began to see it as a way to assert myself. A way to boost my self-esteem, I suppose. If I can maintain eye contact, then I've shown that I'm your equal and that you have no right to look down on me. Not necessarily a healthy or accurate view, but it's what I told myself to keep moving forward in my efforts to conquer the eye phobia. So, with this objective firmly in mind, I spent years tenaciously confronting my phobia and, although it was an extremely difficult and lengthy process, the more I confronted it, the easier it got.
Eventually, I realized something: EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL! Eyes are deep. Eyes are mysterious. Looking into someone's eyes is like taking an adventure into someone's soul. It's a chance to have a uniquely intimate experience with someone. I soon became fascinated with eyes and this new found fascination with eyes became a driving force that eclipsed the fear of eye contact that had once dominated me. I began to look forward to interacting with friends, acquaintances and even strangers. Sure, it was still uncomfortable sometimes, especially when someone didn't want to make eye contact. But the excitement of embarking on that ocular journey, kept me coming back for more day after day.
Eventually, guess what? I realized something else: By making eye contact with others, not only was I exposing myself to a fantastic and unique experience, I was also bestowing value on the person who's eyes I was looking into. I was saying to that person, "You're valuable to me so please take this intimate journey along with me." Our souls, spirits, psyches, essences, inner beings (or whatever else you would like to call it) intermingled for those moments whether they be seconds or microseconds. What an amazing experience that we can have and share every freaking day of our lives. (I know I'm a sappy dork, but this is who I am.).
One final thought: Have you ever thought about how there is NO ONE with ugly eyes? At least, I have yet to see any that I'm not mesmerized by. I suppose there may be some empty sockets around that aren't too pleasant to gaze into but there aren't many and typically if there is someone with an empty socket, then a few inches over, there is an amazingly gorgeous eye to behold. Nope, NO UGLY EYES. Just under appreciated eyes. So, get out there and start appreciating. Start sharing ocular moments. You won't regret it.
Now, GO with God, DIG deep! GAZE into each others eyes and LOVE my Fellow Earth Babies!
Eventually, I realized something: EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL! Eyes are deep. Eyes are mysterious. Looking into someone's eyes is like taking an adventure into someone's soul. It's a chance to have a uniquely intimate experience with someone. I soon became fascinated with eyes and this new found fascination with eyes became a driving force that eclipsed the fear of eye contact that had once dominated me. I began to look forward to interacting with friends, acquaintances and even strangers. Sure, it was still uncomfortable sometimes, especially when someone didn't want to make eye contact. But the excitement of embarking on that ocular journey, kept me coming back for more day after day.
Eventually, guess what? I realized something else: By making eye contact with others, not only was I exposing myself to a fantastic and unique experience, I was also bestowing value on the person who's eyes I was looking into. I was saying to that person, "You're valuable to me so please take this intimate journey along with me." Our souls, spirits, psyches, essences, inner beings (or whatever else you would like to call it) intermingled for those moments whether they be seconds or microseconds. What an amazing experience that we can have and share every freaking day of our lives. (I know I'm a sappy dork, but this is who I am.).
One final thought: Have you ever thought about how there is NO ONE with ugly eyes? At least, I have yet to see any that I'm not mesmerized by. I suppose there may be some empty sockets around that aren't too pleasant to gaze into but there aren't many and typically if there is someone with an empty socket, then a few inches over, there is an amazingly gorgeous eye to behold. Nope, NO UGLY EYES. Just under appreciated eyes. So, get out there and start appreciating. Start sharing ocular moments. You won't regret it.
Now, GO with God, DIG deep! GAZE into each others eyes and LOVE my Fellow Earth Babies!
